Whether you’re called upon to remember how to solve math equations, make accurate observations or simply have an open mind and heart the learning never ends. I went on a date the other night and after dinner, the guy leaned in and asked me how much should I tip. When I told him 18% was good, he asked how much is that? Perturbed and judgmental I looked at him and took out my iphone, punched in the digits and told him. I sat there as he counted out the cash and put it on the table. In those few seconds a million different thoughts went through my head. What kind of guy can’t figure out that for himself? Has he never tipped before? Is that why he was asking what’s a good amount? The questions kept filling my mind. In the midst of it I found myself coming up with excuses for not going out with him again. He must have sensed the wheels turning because later the next evening he texted me and said he wanted to explain something. He continued, I don’t carry my phone with me into restaurants. I feel like if I have it with me, it will prevent me from giving undivided attention to the person I’m with. Then he followed it up with, I usually double the tax on dinner, but the waiter took the itemized receipt back with my credit card slip.
Damn, I felt pretty dumb. Here I am bashing him and coming up with excuses not to see him again. The truth is, he should be the one who didn't want to see me. Where I all of the sudden thought that I was so much better because I came up with the tip amount via cell phone I have no idea. I mean really?! I should honestly be embarrassed and ashamed at the fact that he could read it all of my face yet still want to take me out again, That speaks volumes about his character.
For years I've wasted time and energy on guys I thought were good because maybe they had a “great” job, dressed nice and or were handsome. I said yes to dates that would be at really nice restaurants or I’d go out with someone who fed me lines that deep inside I knew they fed to all the girls. I dated guys who weren't open minded, guys who were biased and divisive and guys who simply were not accepting. Years wasted!! When I finally decided to make the change from the trivial to the substantial I started to notice that it wasn't them it was ME!!! I was the one choosing the same type over and over again. Yet, I sat in judgment and blamed them. They are who they are but they are not for me. The guy I went out with had/has substance and I suppose if I took a look and was as open as I always say I want to be I would have seen that from day one. We are all a work in progress and need some repair work here and there. Unfortunately most of the time we spend looking for the cracks and dents in others instead of checking out in our own mirror.
I’m looking forward to going out with this guy again this weekend. I’m hoping that the clear mind and open heart that I’m always praying I have will be front and center. Last time I checked I wasn’t awarded the title of judge and as the only jury I need to make a decision based on reality not perception. Have a great weekend….I know I will!!