While parked and eating lunch I came across something I wrote a while ago. Its a reminder of how much I appreciate my mom. When we're young we choose to go down paths that later we deem to be huge mistakes. These mistakes can often be life altering. My life story good or bad is filled with many ups and downs many of which included my mom. Today, as we inch closer to Mother's Day I can only think of the value of my mom. The love I have for my mom. I feel so blessed to have come to the other side with my mom next to me. Knowing the physical and emotional struggle she went through to have me and the ending result of me being diagnosed with Larsens Syndrome speaks to her strenghth at that time. My mom was a young lady who was forced to deal with adversity. Adversity that continued on many fronts for decades. But on that March afternoon in 1974, she was just a girl trying to figure it out. Thanks mom!!
Today as I sit in rememberance of the sacrifices my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ made I can't help but feel a deep sense of gratitude. I'm incredibly grateful for so much. I think about how blessed I am to have the friends I do. I think about how blessed I am to have the family I have. I didn't go to church today. I didn't tune into Joel Osteen. I didn't even read a scripture from my bible today (not yet anyway). What I did do was reflect on my many gifts, including that of life. I reflected on the meaning of Easter. I reflected on the sins I've committed and how Jesus died for them. I reflected on the turmoil, trials and tribulations I've experienced and how they don't even compare to those that Jesus went through. Eating dinner, watching the NBA playoffs, laughing, playing games and relaxing that's how I'm spending my Easter. Sitting alongside my family is one of the greatest gifts I've ever been blessed with. Today on this Easter Sunday I may not be spending it the same way as many of my Christian brothers and sisters but I guarantee that my Easter is exactly the ending result of what Jesus wanted for his children. Love, family and the rememberance of what blessed truly means. Happy Easter to you and yours!!! Love, Tamieka Today I experienced a moment of joy that I didn't realize was possible. It's the unexpected feeling you get at the revelation of good news. I often think about all of the things that have gone wrong for me in life but never really take the time to think about the positive gems in between. We all have sucky days and moments, that can contribute to ill feelings, but we also have days and moments that lift us up to higher heights. Many of those heights when you think about them are directly related to the hard work, dedication and/or effort we put in. This makes it all the more better. Sacrificing for the greater good isn't just a common statement made up by an unknown, it's actually something that when put into action can lead to amazing results. I know i'm rambling and not really giving away the gist of my good news (and I don't plan on sharing...just yet), but the main point I'm making is that around every dark corner is a tunnel leading towards the beautiful guiding light. Never give up on you, your dreams or your goals. Anything is possible...I mean I wasn't supposed to walk!!! Today I read something that basically asked the question, why focus on gaining approval from those people who you don’t really respect. It was an eye opener for me. Today, during my travels it kept popping into my head. I thought about it as it pertained to my job, my co workers, my friends, my family members and even myself. Why do I constantly get upset when I don’t receive the attention or accolades from others that I clearly see given to people who are my “competitors”. Keep in mind I use competitor loosely. I’m not physically competing, no. Instead, the competitiveness can be found in constantly judging myself against the effort and success of those who come in and out of my life. Whether it’s a “good job” email from my boss to a co worker, a like on a picture or status via social media, or even acknowledgement of praise from a family member to another, I find myself stressing over it at times. But, why? I have to go back to that question of seeking approval from those people who don’t respect it. Just because someone doesn’t openly express a viewpoint on you or your actions doesn’t mean they don’t have one or even respect you for that matter. It isn’t the job of others to reinforce the good feelings you may have about yourself. Why spend time ruminating about the how comes of others? Instead, maybe pat yourself on the back and praise yourself. It’s easier said than done…I know. This has always been my problem. For example, about a week ago I posted a picture on Facebook that my mom then shared on her wall. When I logged back into the site later, I noticed that she had way more likes than I did. I immediately felt hurt. Half of the people that liked her picture were my fb friends too. But, why like her share over my original? What was it about her that they said I’m gonna like this one instead. It’s crazy how something so small can become a major factor in your day. Instead of relishing in the beauty of my mother co signing on what I put into the world, I crossed my arms, stomped my feet and threw an internal hissy fit that others “liked” it on her page more than mine. I mean really? So, when I think about seeking that approval, it’s not that the person we want it from doesn’t respect it. That shouldn't be the question. Instead, its essential to focus on the why you want the approval regardless of who you want it from. The from isn’t important, the why is. I can sit and think to myself maybe it stems from my insecurity. At this point in my life I can make a million guesses as to the origination but that too isn’t important. The key is to appreciate my qualities, my gifts and what I have to offer. I need to be the audience that is applauding. I need to be the critic giving a thumbs up. I Tamieka Adrienne Blair need to be the one shouting good job. As long as I am happy with my work the opinions of others won’t become an overall dominating factor in my life. Remember the Kermit the Frog song “ it ain’t easy being green”? Well, today it popped into my head when I was talking to one of my doctors. I changed the word from Green to deaf. I’ve always had a hearing disability but like most things that age, it’s gotten progressively worse. Don’t get me wrong, I’m blessed to have hearing aids and the ability to communicate effectively without most people even knowing I’m impaired but the struggle gets a little more daunting each day. I’ve been wearing hearing aids since I was a kid and the evoloution of those devices are amazing. When I was a kid, I wore what my friend likes to refer to as slingbacks. Not only were they big and bulky, but they were light and gaudy. Today, my aids are pretty much the same shade as my skin and are hidden from plain sight. But, they’re still assisted devices and will never replace the true sound that many people are blessed to experience. Talking to that Dr. earlier put me in a bit of a depressing mood. I walked away feeling stupid for asking him to repeat a question three times. A soft spoken man, the pitch in his voice just was not registering. After repeating the question for the final time he gave me a look like what the hell is wrong with you. When I explained that I wore hearing aids the look of disgust turned into pity and that’s where my feelings of stupidity rolled in. Even at 40 years old, I still find myself experiencing feelings of insecurity and inferiority. Hearing aids are no different than other assisted devices like eyewear and braces right? Why then is there still such a stigma attached to it? I know I can’t be the only one that notices this. It’s crazy how society reacts and deals with “normalcy”. At the end of the day, I know that I shouldn’t feel stupid about not being able to hear at 100% capacity. But, for whatever reason I just haven’t been able to get over it. Check out the VIDEO version below. Click HERE to go to my youtube page. As we inch closer to sunny filled days of warmth, I'm reminded that change is good and life is precious. When you're down seek those people, places and/or things that bring comfort to your soul. Every day won't be an easy one, but if you hold onto the belief that all will get better I guarantee they will. There are many things I want out of life, and more importantly from myself. Taking the time to sit in a peaceful setting and rejoice over all of my blessings and the gifts that have been bestowed upon me, always renews my faith. So, today think about what brings you comfort. Maybe it's the gym, the kitchen, your kids, your friends, your family, the beach, the cafe, wherever....seek it out and comfort your soul!! Enjoy this beautiful Saturday!! Prior to the start of the NBA season last fall, many people including myself had a lot to say about which players should be traded and which should stay. Conversations and opinions ran the gamut from injured to behavior off of the court. One player who seemed to garner a huge reaction was Amare Stoudemire. I for one felt like his career was over and that he should have just retired. Of course, he wasn't going to retire though. Who in their right mind would leave that amount of money on the table? So, I like many other New York Knicks fans believed we were saddled with a washed up player destined to sit on the bench for the rest of the season. Boy was I wrong. Amare came into the 13-14 season with limited minutes and playing on alternate days. Between his torn retina and knee surgeries the well liked Knick was viewed by many as simply broken. Along with the cheers during game night at the garden came sknickers for the favored knickerbocker. There were few who counted him in and I was one of them. Shoot to March 2014, and Amare exhibits some of his greatest basketball skills. Averaging 16.9 ppg and nearly 30 minutes ppg the STAT is back. Yeah, yeah I know....this season sucks. But in every cloud and dark spot there are rays of light. Amare is one such ray. A guy who was largely tossed aside by the media and fans alike has shown determination and pure will. He has come to ball. Playing like that kid who was drafted by the Suns over a decade ago, Amare continues to play to win. His dedication to training and healing his body is something to be admired. If the Knicks don't make the playoffs this season, I can't even blame Amare Stoudemire. The way that he has strived for excellence amazes me. He has shown his teammates, the Knicks organization, the media and the fans that if you work hard enough you can wave that finger in the face of all of the naysayers, Dikembe Motumbo style. Good job Amare Stoudemire...I salute you sir! I think I'm gonna have to reach out to my brother Zeb who is a video extraordinaire, because my videos kind of come out crappy. But, hey you gotta start somewhere. Today, I took a few minutes to read from the book i'm writing about being single. On top of being a dental storage unit, music library, gym locker and book shelf, my car is now also a video studio. I just need to learn how to edit and give myself better lighting. #Darkskinnedproblems :-) ENJOY haha |
AuthorMy name is Tamieka Blair and I live on Long Island in New York. I write, I read, I write, I work, I write, I support..I WRITE!!! Archives
February 2018
Categories
All
Please note that the viewpoints expressed in this blog are solely my views and do not necessarily represent those of any employer or company associated with Tamieka Blair.
|