"As time went on, I got excited about spending Christmas in New York. Thanksgiving came and went in a flash. We spent it with my aunt and uncle. They always made life comfortable and inviting. I couldn’t wait to repeat it over the Christmas break. I was feeling good about the future. My mom was talking about getting a place for the two of us and living a new and improved life. I felt closer to her than I had in a really long time. Wanting to express just how close I felt to her I decided to share some of the journal writings and personal items that I kept in a shoebox. Piece by piece I let her read. She complimented me and made me feel like I was special. Feeling ebullient, I showed her the letter that I intended to give to my teacher. Not proud of why I was writing the letter but proud of the fact that I had made the decision to write it, I let my mother read it. Immediately after reading it, she jumped up like a bolt of lightning had struck her. Pointing her finger and reprimanding me, she loudly inquired about the contents of my note. I admitted to spitting on my teacher but didn’t tell her why. I told her that I felt bad about it and that’s why I wrote the letter. She was visibly upset and there was no explaining away my wrong doing.
For the first time the ramifications of what I had done truly sunk in. I acted beneath myself. I realized that in that moment. Not accepting my “I don’t know” response, my mother said that I would not be going to New York for Christmas. I couldn’t believe she was punishing me by preventing me from spending time with my family. How cruel. I was in shock. For a week, she gave me the silent treatment. She didn’t engage me in conversations. She simply responded with one worded answers. Her behavior towards me was punishment enough. For her to throw in, not going away just completely devastated me. When my uncle called to verify the pick up time, I listened in as she told him that I wasn’t going. She handed the phone to me and told me to tell him exactly why. When I finished relaying my disgusting misgivings, I heard deafening silence on the other end save for the slight chuckle I couldn’t have imagined. Finally, he said something to the effect of well when you mess up you gotta deal with the consequences. And with that, he told me to put my mother back on the phone."