All of my exes have made me feel like I was the chosen one. Whether I was chosen for my body, my mind or my spirit knowing that I was the one he wanted has always left me feeling fulfilled. The problem arises when I recognize that I'm chosen and that's enough. I never really wanted to put in that extra work. I never gave 100% of myself. My goal in relationships has always been based on my needs as it relates to being picked. So, watching that show just now and realizing my truth is eye opening. So...where do I go from here?
I can make a list of all of the things I want in my mate but a list has never gotten me anywhere. At the end of the day, I have to look at what I have to offer and what makes me happy. Iyanla talked about finding a partner. Not someone who lifts you up or you lift up. Rather someone who brings an equal amount of himself to the relationship. She also touched on marriage and why people do it. For years, I thought I wanted to be married. I even got engaged to that person who chose me. But at the end of the day and after wearing the ring it wasn't what I wanted. At the time, I thought he wasn't what I wanted. But today as I sit here reflecting on my past and my decisions I realize that I don't really want to be married. Every single marriage I've seen is flawed. Not one marriage entices me to join in that type of commitment. Now that doesn't mean I don't want to be committed to some one. No! But, I don't think I need to be defined by a piece of paper.
I would love to be chosen again, but I just pray the next time around the joyous feeling doesn't dissipate. Recognizing that being chosen shouldn't be the only thing you focus on is something I'm realizing is a key component to a successful relationship. Now, lets hope my future mate is reading this haha