Prior to my layoff, there were many occasions where headphones would replace my hearing aids and the only sound that permeated throughout my eardrums were tunes by Mary J, Nas, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Nirvana, Evelyn Champagne King, New Edition, Duran Duran, Jay Z, BIG, Toni Basil, The Go Go’s, Foxy Brown, Lil Kim, Hector Lavoe, Big Daddy Kane, Slick Rick, Salt and Pepa, Beastie Boys, Maroon 5, Amy Whinehouse, I mean I could go on for days and days!! The truth is that once I got laid off, I stopped blasting my music, I stopped shopping in mom and pop record stores and on itunes. I began to foster a love hate relationship with music and found that hate was winning out. That began to change last night.
The drum beat, rhythmic flow and words that make up the song “one mic” lingered in my head long after Nas had performed it. Walking to my car, I couldn't wait to roll my windows down and blast my music on the Long Island Expressway. As I cruised down the LIE, I sang at the top of my lungs. Songs that I hadn't heard in years reunited with my eardrums and the words found their way falling out of mouth. I was filled with a joyous spirit, reminiscent of a Sunday morning at church. The feelings were rushing back and I was accepting it with each beat, melody and word.
For years, I've felt a hole in my heart after being laid off. I've felt cast aside by an industry that I held so dear and had truthfully believed I’d be a part of my entire life. With the end of that era also went the end of my love affair with the tunes I helped to market. But, last night as I listened and sang I realized or maybe I simply just remembered that music in and of itself can’t be confined to an institution. Rather, it’s a soulful experience that belongs to the people, to our hearts, to our minds to our lives. I’m grateful that I felt it again. I’m grateful that being out in a humidity laden citifield, with a wisp of air periodically finding its way across my face and my neck as the backdrop of Nas music permeated throughout the stadium was the catalyst that helped me to feel again.
Long Live Music!!