As I’m writing this I’m crying. Why?? I don’t know, my hormones be like that sometimes. I was in the middle of responding to a work email and had to close my computer because I grew so sad and had the woe is me moment. In a span of five minutes, I felt sorry for myself. Why can’t I have kids? Why am I unlucky in love? Why can’t my friends hang when I ask? Why am I in debt? What is my purpose? I’m a hot mess haha. But this is what being perimenopausal has done to me.
Women go through so much and are always tasked with having to stand strong. We are asked to be strong for everyone to keep our heads up and to keep fighting for the “greater good”. The ramifications of following that mantra can be a heavy load to bare for us all but even more so for those women that don’t have the mental fortitude to withstand it all. Sometimes, I feel I don’t have it and it’s exacerbated even more by my perimenopausal symptoms. It’s crazy, I haven’t written for my blog in nearly 3 years and yet here I am typing away because I had an emotional breakdown over a thought.
Anyway, my doctor says that once I turn 50, I can come off of the medication. From there I will be in menopause…oh joy a possible 14 more years of this crap. God protect me.