One of the memories I have of him is when I was a young kid and he showed up unexpectedly at our home. I had never met him but everyone kept saying go say hello and I was so scared I hid in a corner. He finally came over and handed me a ring and left. The reason why that moment stands out is because today I look back and see a man who wanted to be part of my life but because of the choices he made it was difficult for him. I can’t imagine what he felt like having his granddaughter shake in fear and reject him. Today when I see him we embrace and I see the love and joy in his eyes. I’m grateful for those moments and I hope he is too.
Today I honor my Grandfather James Taylor for Black History Month. My maternal grandfather is someone I’ve known most of my life but never really had a relationship with. Born in Daytona Beach, Florida on December 9th, 1934 James was raised by his Grandparents Sam and Hattie Taylor in Ormond Beach, Florida. James is the oldest and only brother of 3. Having moved to NY in 1965, he lived a somewhat nomadic life doing various jobs that took him all over the east coast of the US. Retiring and living a quiet life in Huntington Station, NY James enjoys watching all forms of sports and can be found in front of the tube on any given day.
One of the memories I have of him is when I was a young kid and he showed up unexpectedly at our home. I had never met him but everyone kept saying go say hello and I was so scared I hid in a corner. He finally came over and handed me a ring and left. The reason why that moment stands out is because today I look back and see a man who wanted to be part of my life but because of the choices he made it was difficult for him. I can’t imagine what he felt like having his granddaughter shake in fear and reject him. Today when I see him we embrace and I see the love and joy in his eyes. I’m grateful for those moments and I hope he is too.
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Today for Black History Month I’ve chosen to honor my Great Grandfather Joshua “Fats” Wideman. Joshua was born on February 17th, 1911 and departed this earth on his oldest daughter Blanches’ birthday February 24th 1956. Joshua was remembered as a devoted husband to Myrtle and his three children Blanche, Joshua and Beverly. Born in Greenville, South Carolina Joshua moved to NY and ultimately made a home in Huntington Village, NY with his family.
An employee of Republic Airport in Farmingdale, Joshua was a hard worker who made time to always spend his time off with family. My Grandmother Blanche always talked about how he and their mother would play with them in the house and during warm days take them to the park and the beach. It was clearly evident how much he was loved by the way his family spoke of him. His hard work paid off in 1955-1956 when he was able to save enough money to buy his family their dream home in Huntington Station, NY. More than 60 years later some of his family continues to reside in that home and carry out the legacy he started so many years ago. Unfortunately, he passed away before getting the opportunity to live in his new home with his family. But the lasting memory of who he is lives on in the spirit of his children, his grandchildren and his great grandchildren and beyond. Today as I’m typing this in the home he purchased, I feel honored and blessed to know I come from such a caring, giving, loving and strong ancestral line. I honor Joshua “Fats” Wideman for Black History Month and I thank him for the family and the legacy that I get to cherish day in and day out. Today for Black History Month I honor my late Grandmother Rebecca Lee Blair who would’ve celebrated her 86th birthday today. Born in South Carolina on February 16th, 1932 to Allen and Daisy Rebecca would ultimately end up moving to Harlem, NY with her family as a teenager. My Grandma was THE absolute most generous person I knew. She honestly would give you her last dollar and the shoes off of her feet. The mother of 4 and grandmother of 18, Rebecca passed away on September 16, 2007 surrounded by family.
My Grandmother was an active participant in her community. She donated time, services, food and sometimes even a place to sleep. She had an open heart and was dedicated to ensuring everyone that left her presence left with a smile on their face. I have countless memories of the time I spent with my grandmother. From sitting at her kitchen table and playing scrabble, to laying down in her arms and watching soap operas I am so incredibly grateful to have experienced her love. One of the funniest memories I have is when I went away with her and my other grandma Blanche for a weekend trip to Mohegan Sun. Me and my Grandma Blair partnered up and shared a room. Well, after checking in and before going down to the casino to gamble we were relaxing in the room alongside my Aunt Willa when our conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door. One of the other women came in and made small talk with us before finally asking the question that seemed to be plaguing her mind the whole time. “Why are you laying up here in Rebecca’s bed?”. Me, my Auntie and my Grandmother busted out laughing. After all of those years she never knew Rebecca was my Grandmother too. She always knew me as her friend Blanches granddaughter. We would always bring up that day years later as a funny story we’d retell. I loved those moments with my Grandmother. In my later years she had become my friend. I went to her poker party’s with her senior group, I’d go on trips with her groups and I’d just spend time with her. From her fried fish and grits, backyard barbecues, cookies, Christmas gifts, hugs, kisses and so much more I cannot begin to express how much she is missed!! Today as I reminisce about my Grandmother Rebecca Blair, I take pride in knowing that she lived her best life. She lived a life filled with love for her family, admiration for her her friends and respect for all. Born on June 13th, 1924 to Effie and Stephen Carpenter, my Great Grandmother Myrtles’ Brother Harold M. Carpenter was the youngest of 4. My uncle Harold led a very interesting life filled with lots of lows but mostly highs in his latter years. My Grandmother Blanche loved spending time with him in Amityville and fussing over him to make sure he was taking care of himself.
A United States Army Veteran, upon leaving the service Harold went on to open a successful barbershop in Wyandanch, NY called Welcome Barbershop. He never had any kids but many of my family members recall spending time in his shop and getting “fatherly” advice from him. I have many memories of Uncle Harold which typically center on eccentricity’s like his belief that eating beets daily, prolonged your life. Whenever he would come over to my Grandmothers house he had a huge smile and would share little known information about the world and people that none of us knew about. Afterwards, he would laugh like he said the funniest thing in the world and we’d laugh along with a bit of confusion in our eyes. But that was Uncle Harold, always leaving us with a laugh and something to think about later. Harold Carpenter passed away on August 27, 2003 and today I honor him for Black History Month. I hope he’s in heaven sharing his thoughts and laughing it up with my Nana. Born February 14, 1888 in Connecticut my Great Great Grandmother Effie Squires was given the middle name Valentine because of the date of her birth. Effie the eldest girl, settled on Long Island with her 7 siblings and her parents Abraham and Salome. She would go on to marry Stephen Carpenter who was four years her senior. Their union produced 4 children including my Great Grandmother Myrtle.
According to family members, Effie loved all of her grandchildren and would light up when they came to visit her in Amityville, NY. There aren’t many memories of her that have been passed down, however she was said to be stern by some and loving by others. Today for Black History Month and on Valentine’s Day I honor Effie Valentine Squires Carpenter who had she miraculously lived would’ve been 130 years old. Today I’m honoring my Uncle Brian Keith Henderson for Black History Month. Back in September I wrote a birthday tribute to him on my blog which is partially pasted below. I just wanted to add that aside from being an awesome uncle he is an even better citizen. Having served as a Marine for our military, my uncle fought for our country at home and overseas for more than 20 years. He went on to serve our country by working for the US government before ultimately retiring. I admire Brian more than he’ll ever know and I consider myself incredibly lucky and blessed to call him family. “I don't have a recollection of the first time I realized that my Uncle Brian was the man I wished was my father. For me he always epitomized what a man should be like. Every time he came home from the service my heart would pound from the excitement of seeing him. I couldn't wait to go visit him when he decided to make a home down south. My uncle showed me and his other two nieces that although our fathers chose not to be active participants, we would never be void of a male presence in our lives. To this day when his car pulls up in front of the house I still get giddy inside lol. Growing up my Uncle Brian took us to amusement parks, taught us what it meant to value a dollar, encouraged us to do better and reminded us of the importance of family. I swear I don't know a better man. To this day, he offers to do everything he can to help us. When he visits Long Island he he continues to encourage us. He makes us laugh, he's not ashamed to tell us how he's failed and overcome and he's always offering himself to us in whatever capacity that may be.” My grandfather Allen Knowings was born in Georgetown, South Carolina in 1906. The father of 4, relocated his family to Harlem, NY in 1942. My Great Aunt and Grandmother told me stories about how he was a hard worker and always tried his best to take care of his family. Their journey to NY was an unexpected one but one that ended up leaving a legacy none of them could have imagined.
I don’t remember a whole lot about him but I recall a quiet man. When I look at this picture of him and me I remember a sly smirk on his face. The same smirk my grandmother had, the same smirk I sometimes have. It can mean numerous things but on that summer day in my grandmothers backyard it felt familiar. It felt like a hurry up and take it moment. When I look at the photo I laugh because I think I wear my hats the same way. Unfortunately, I don’t have much to share about my Great Grandfather. Let that be a lesson to all. Ask questions and often! Today as I continue to celebrate Black History Month I honor Allen Knowings who would’ve been 112 this year. When I was looking for a photo to accompany this Black History Month post in honor of my Aunt Pamela Christine Henderson it took forever. I ended up finding one from 14 years ago. Pam rarely smiles for photos and because of that the impression is made that she has a hardened personality. That couldn’t be further from the truth. My Aunt Pam has one of the most generous and kind personalities I’ve ever witnessed. Anyone that has ever been in her presence loves her. She’s that one person you try to get affirmation from because she doesn’t give it to everyone but when she does you feel like you’re the chosen one haha.
Given the same middle name as her Grandmother Myrtle Pam embodies many of the same qualities that she had. Pam is a hard worker who did and continues to do everything she can to ensure her children don’t have to struggle. That effort has extended beyond her kids to include me. Pam is not only my Aunt she’s my friend. One of my fondest memories is of her paying me to babysit her teenage daughters when I would come back to NY for my summer breaks. Anyone that knows my cousins knows they didn’t need babysitting. Pam paid me because that was her way of being generous and kind without saying it lol. I will never forget all she’s done for me and I will forever be grateful for her. Black History Month is about recognizing the achievements, the impacts and the impressions that Black people have made on our society. As you know I’ve flipped it a bit and chose to focus only on those in my family. Today I honor my My Uncle Eric William Wideman. Eric is a testament to what making a commitment to self help and health looks like. Sometimes in life, we make childhood choices that end up having detrimental effects on our adulthood. Eric is a living example of how wrong can turn into a beautiful right. I admire him so much and I’m proud of the man he has become and what he means to our family. In 2013, I wrote a post about my Uncle for Fathers Day that included an excerpt from my unpublished book. Here is a portion of that piece. “Growing up I was surrounded by my aunts and uncles who were teenagers. I was like the little sister, the doll, the tangible asset they could play with, protect and teach. The pictures of my toddler years show a young me always smiling, yet desperately hanging onto my family members. Whether it’s a picture of me holding my uncle Brian’s foot, or one of me standing next to my aunt Pam I was a big part of my family. One of my fondest memories is of me going to the track with my uncle Eric. Eleven years older than me, he would put my tricycle in the trunk and put our dog in the backseat. Prior to 1988, car seats were not mandatory so it was nothing for me to sit in the front seat with my uncle when he drove the mile or so to his high schools field. Once on the track he set me up to ride. Try as I may I never was able to ride fast enough to catch him and Tamu our dog on the track. It was so much fun trying though. Eric was my best friend. He was the type of guy that played barbies, watched scary movies, combed my hair, brought me ice cream and did everything a father should do with their daughter, except he was my teenage uncle." My cousin Yolanda Elaine Henderson is still considered the baby of my family. She’s milked that stature too by the way haha. She’s always been the one member of our family that has sat in the cut and gone unnoticed. We always joke that no one knows who she is or that she exists because she’s so quiet. Yolanda’s quiet nature has lead to her quiet strength. Named after our Grandmother Blanche Elaine, Yolanda embodies someone who has been able to take the lumps life throws and move on like it was nothing. I admire that about her.
She has brushed the dirt off of her shoulder since she was a child. I remember her getting hit in the head with a rock by some kid in the neighborhood and although she writhed in pain she never allowed the permanent scar to deter her later in life or lead her down a path of self loathing. I’ve never really heard her complain about anything without making a change that removed that complaint from her life. She’s not a dweller and that’s to be admired. My cousin is an integral part of our family. We were raised in the same house and we live together today. She is my sister and my friend and I couldn’t fathom a world without her. Today I honor her during Black History Month and pray that God continues to allow strength to permeate throughout her veins. |
AuthorMy name is Tamieka Blair and I live on Long Island in New York. I write, I read, I write, I work, I write, I support..I WRITE!!! Archives
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Please note that the viewpoints expressed in this blog are solely my views and do not necessarily represent those of any employer or company associated with Tamieka Blair.
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