I had a date for prom. His name was Rodney. I had met him in the supermarket I worked in and he sought me out because he realized I was wearing hearing aids. He spoke sign language so I guess he felt connected, even though I didn't share the same language skill. We dated for over six months and he even took me to my homecoming dance. I wasn't attracted to him, but it felt kind of cool to have a boyfriend who was older and in college. Girls...think about who you choose....
Anyway, when prom season came around I was so excited to be going and to have a date. I always felt like I was ugly and less than, so the fact that I would be on someones arm felt great. Me, Rodney, my girlfriends and their dates were all planning to rent a limo together, grab dinner and then head to the venue. That morning I remember feeling anxious because I hadn't heard from Rodney. I kept calling but he wasn't answering. As the day progressed I went with the process and got ready. My aunt Lynn drove up from Virginia and patiently applied makeup to a weepy me. She and my mother were so understanding and loving but it didn't matter. I knew that I was getting stood up. After putting on my tights and dress I was ready. I couldn't wait for Rodney because the limo was on a schedule and I wasn't going to be the only one in it. As the time grew closer, my throat dried up with angst and I tried my hardest to be brave. The reality of what was happening caused tears to flow. My mom and aunt hugged and comforted me with what I felt was pity in their eyes but today I know to be sympathy. They told me that I was beautiful and that it was his loss. But words like that to a teenager like me meant nothing when you're hurt.
Getting into the limo, I sat in silence. Couple after couple got in and I faked a smile. I was blunt and said I was stood up. Deep inside I wanted to believe that Rodney would show up at dinner. We went to Benigans and I tried my best to eat but the meat kept getting stuck in my throat. My friends were perfect. They tried to make me feel good and kept cracking jokes. My friends Sherry, Darcie and Karen were particularly simpathetic and tried to be true symbols of friendship by being there for me. On our way to the prom I still didn't give up hope that he'd be there. I believed it as much as I believed anything. I sat at the table and watched others dance. I felt sorry for myself and I'm sure it showed all over my face. I kept thinking about how great of a day that was supposed to be. I sulked and sulked and found myself falling deeper and deeper into my feelings.
Noticing me sitting alone, one of my classmates James came up and asked me to dance. He and I weren't really close friends but we were friendly. He was always nice to me and we would share a laugh or two in the classes we shared. When he first held out his hand, I was resistant and embarrassed but he insisted. Thinking about that moment makes me cry right now. He showed me a level of compassion that I wasn't used to. I remember him fondly and will forever be grateful that he gave me a good lasting memory of my prom.
I never heard from Rodney again. Proms are such a big part of many teenage girls lives. It sucks that I allowed that one person to shape much of how I dealt with men in latter years. It took me some time to get over being stood up and even though I'm an adult it's something that sticks with you. Although Rodney showed me how disrespectful men could be, James on the other hand showed me how compassionate they can be. I'm not one of the lucky ones to have a fantastic prom story but I do have one that taught me many different life lessons. With family and friends by your side you can get through anything.
To all of you going to prom, be safe and make sure to enjoy every moment of it!!!