This morning, I looked at my blog and saw that I still get a consistent amount of people checking it out daily. How awesome. I immediately felt a bit depressed. People are logging in to see what I have to say. They’re looking to get another glimpse into mylife and my thoughts. And here I am completely blank. I foundd myself trying to think and think of something to write about and then it hit me. Just ramble haha. Sometimes the best thoughts and ideas come out of simply thinking.
And so here I am…rambling….or as I sometimes like refer to myself…Rambling T. My mind has been fluttering between today’s Giants and Jet’s games and whether I should go watch them in the bar by myself. I’ve been thinking about work and how I can start making enough money so that I don’t need a part time job. I’ve been thinking about the great night I had with my dad over dinner and drinks. I’ve been thinking about the financial choices I’ve made in regards to my life and those around me. I’ve been thinking about what has become more important these days, finding a man, buying a house or having a baby? I’ve been thinking about how much it means to be thought of, accepted and appreciated. I’ve been thinking about how much weight I’ve gained in the past few months and how much I’d like to get a gym routine going. I’ve been thinking about the NY Knicks and whether they will be as bad as the ESPN commentators profess. I’ve been thinking about that Barney’s situation in the city and how depressing it is that in 2013, we’re still talking about racial and youth profiling. I’ve been thinking about how much I miss my grandmothers and the fact that the hole in my heart has never healed. I’ve been thinking about how much I love my brothers and the fact that they truly don’t know the depth in which those feelings are. I've been thinking about how courageous I think my mom is yet I still feel wounded by the mistakes from the past. I've been thinking about how shy and insecure I am and how I wish I was outgoing and stronger. I've been thinking about how much it hurts my feelings when friends cancel on me and why exactly it hurts so much. I've been thinking about whether its true that I try to buy acceptance. I've been thinking about what if I were to get fired from my job too. I've been thinking about if it's wrong that I pick guys because of their looks first before realizing they're dumb assess. I’m thinking a whole hell of a lot for 8 am in the morning!!
So, as I begin my Sunday and start making choices for the day, I will continue to think and to ponder the questions and scenarios of life. I will live. I will work to be happy. I will work to be successful. I will work to be the person my Grandmothers wanted me to be. I will work to be the person I want to be. I will work to be the kind of person God will have me be.
Happy Sunday…I Love You,
Tamieka