In my blog, I write about being inclusive. I write about forgiveness. I write about loving one another. I write about acceptance. I didn’t exhibit any of that behavior this afternoon. I tore someone down based on hearsay and my own interpretation of who this person is. I painted a picture of this person with a brush that I had sullied and allowed to dry over time. By tearing this person down, in the moment I felt good. I felt like I was above this person. The truth is, I’m not. My behavior didn't show strength or power, instead it showed ignorance and jealousy.
I like to think that I’m a good person and that I not only see the good in others but I see the good in myself. Today I proved myself wrong. Regardless of what choices that person made for the good or bad of others doesn't give me the right to sit in a place of judgment. I’m not perfect and I am flawed in so many ways but when I see it for myself, I gotta tell you it not only stings….it hurts.
I’m sure it won’t be the last time I make a choice that is ill conceived. But I hope that as I get older I think about what I’m saying in the moment and why exactly I’m saying it. It’s sometimes hard not to talk shit, but at the end of the day I’d rather try hard to keep positive thoughts flowing rather than ones filled with crap.