As the years went by, I would make new friends and see them prosper in new relationships and again think, well I’m going to be forgotten again. And again, sometimes I was. Marriages would commence, and children would be born and all of the sudden I wasn’t as important or shall I say a priority….and rightfully so. The loss of a friendship was always devastating to me. When it was sudden I’d cry for days as if I lost a life. When it was gradual, I’d simply tell myself they weren’t a good friend anyway. It was a weird tug of war that my heart and mind was having and trying to make sense of the world I was navigating through became even more arduous.
When I met my current best friend, the same feelings began to make themselves known. I began to feel insecure and apprehensive about the future of our friendship once she got married. In my heart, I believed that our days were numbered and I would once again have to find another friend to confide in, hang out with and go shopping with. I believed that I would be tossed aside like yesterdays trash. Instead, the opposite occurred. I decided to stay and fight, because she mattered. She in turn did the same and our friendship is more like a sisterhood 15 years later. When she had children, I again got nervous but instead of retreating into the bushes to stew and cry, I chose to become an active part of her life and support her where she wanted my support. I AND she chose to stand up and show each other what true friendship is.
When I hang out with some of my other friends and we discuss our married friends and how they may have turned their back on us and chose to make friends with other married couples. Or chose to make friends with other parents, I sometimes wonder what could we or I have done to ensure the relationship stood the test of time. The truth is a relationship takes two people. Two people willing to give, to take, to support, to understand, to be honest, to respect and to ultimately love. Without all of these components the friendship is doomed to fail. I’m honored to say that after years of consistent support and a willingness to work on our relationship, my married best friend who’s a mother of three found a place in her heart to allow me to shine too. I in turn, found the place within to respect her and to understand that with love, there is no opportunity to exclude for love is about inclusion. So, when you think oh nooooo he or she is getting married or having kids, our friendship is dying….ask yourself was it a true friendship built on the basis of love.
Have a great day and remember to tell your friends you love them and if you can’t say it show. In the meantime, remember I LOVE YOU :-)