Bruce Jenners second wife recounted how her boys didn't get cards or calls on their birthday. They sat by and knew that their father was in a new relationship and seemingly being the father they wanted for themselves for someone else. It's a story that is told time and again. Has nothing to do with race. Men in all shapes and sizes, colors and income brackets take the same route. But why? What could make a man choose anything other than making sure the BEST part of him is taken care of? I'm not speaking financially but rather emotionally. Ask any adult to think about the moments as a child that bring them the happiest memories with their father and I guarantee it has nothing to do with things. Every friend that I've spoken to it always comes down to time.
My dad wasn't there for me as a kid. The happiest times that I do recall spending with him all revolve around talking and engaging. I think about the times we went fishing or to a basketball game. Funny enough though, those moments were spent in my thirties and forties. And none of those memories involved buying and spending. As a kid I used to look at dads who put their kids on their shoulder at the park and wish I had that memory. When I had my recitals in school I used to look in the audience and wish I saw my dad. Growing up, I wanted more than anything for my dad to beat up the man who abused my mom and me. But, my dad wasn't around.
It's funny, because you always see dads who weren't there for their kids show up in their lives as adults. You see it in all walks of life. From athletes to cashiers it doesn't discriminate. When adults make that choice to reunite with their father, you can only look to love as the reason. Everyone wants to be loved and to give love and because of that so many transgressions are forgivable. So, when Bruce Jenners' kids say they were hurt and wanted him there for them but accept and forgive today, it's because of love. His story, while it has a billion people tweeting is simply salacious and a hot button one. I believe the more lasting effect is fatherhood. Twenty years from now transgender will be the norm. But, we will still be having conversations about fathers who chose not to be there for their kids and that's what should be salacious.