So many memories flood my head when I think about Nana. I'm reminded of her strength, her determination, her heart, and her laughter. Nana was not only my grandmother, she was my friend. Nana was the centerpiece of my family and the void that we all feel has ceased to disappear. Everything that Nana did was to make each one of her family members feel content even if it was something she didn't always agree with. Whether being there emotionally, financially, physically or spiritually we never went without feeling her presence. When it came to me and my two cousins, she didn't treat us like the traditional grandmothers you see on television. No. She treated us like peers. She respected us enough to be honest but not mean, giving but not over indulgent, and all the time with love oozing out of her being.
When I think of Nana, I think about the times we spent chatting on her back deck, playing badmitton, spades, phase ten and gin rummy. I think about the times we laughed so hard it hurt, the times we ate so much it hurt, and the times we comforted each others hurt. When I think about Nana I think about how successful she was at navigating individual, special relationship with each of her four children. When I think of Nana I think about how amazing she was to be able to sit in a space of forgiveness and openess in spite of how some wronged her. When I think of Nana, I think about how she lit up when she talked about her parents, siblings and her overall youth. When I think about Nana, I think about the joy she felt for the seemingly little things. When I think about Nana I think about how nice she was to everyone and how there wasn't one person who felt uncared for around her. When I think about Nana I think about Love.
Today as I sit back and remember the woman who was my grandmother on what would have been her 79th birthday I pray. I pray that she is resting comfortably. I pray that she is surrounded by her parents and her brother. I pray that when she "checks" in on us she smiles that glorious smile I shall never forget. But most importantly I pray that she knows just how much we all love and miss her!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY & RIP NANA!!